i suck

Okay guys..i am not allowed to go to my dads house anymore!! 3718 calories today!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! I think I know.
1. I am actually pretty happy with my body right now. It isn’t EXACTLY how i want it(i don’t think that i’ll ever see my body that way thats why we are called health ‘nuts’…we are nuts hehe) but it looks good. I like how my abs are defined, and my legs are slimmer and i don’t have cellulite. I actually like what i see when i look in the mirror.

THIS IS BAD. It makes me that much more likely to go cheat because i say to myself “you look pretty good, one day won’t kill you” This is what happened last time i lost weight. Those “one days” added up and i HATED not only my body but my self for letting it happen.

I need to get my head back in the game on weekends. During the week I am fine because it is all routine and honestly, if i don’t go to my dads house, then there is no crapfood at my apartment for me to eat, SO….moral of the story. NOT going to dads house anymore!! It is the danger zone.

I did hike camelback mountain today (a hard as f*** hike, i literally got my heart rate up to 190 at one point…i don’t take breaks at all on the way up so it really is a hard workout) afterwards i got the tires in my bike fixed and rode around for about a half hour… then went to the gym and did some random pushups and abs, stair master for 10 minutes and ran on an incline with intervals for 10 minutes…5 minute cooldown.

I guess its good that i logged in all that i ate, but at the same time I probably came in about 1000 calories or more over my daily intake. NOT COOL LIZZY.

This is a tough position. I like being happy with my body because it makes me confident, happy and I appreciate it, but I worry SO MUCH that i will let myself go. I know that I have the power though and I just need to remember that. A 3 day carb-deplete is sounding pretty good right about now! Nix some of that damage I did.

I WILL be better. I will not only get through the weekdays on plan, but i WILL GET THROUGH NEXT WEEKEND ON PLAN TOO. Keep me accountable guys, I need your help. I will be honest if you will be too.

Thank you for listening to the rambling you guys are awesome you are ALWAYS there and honestly, i am going at this game ALONE. I don’t have many supporters in this fitness endeavor.

Thanks again.


3 thoughts on “i suck

  1. Jennica says:

    Yep, I had an ‘I suck day’ too, I don’t think any of us would have any of those days if we weren’t the health/fitness nuts that we are. You’re really inspiring with how motivated you are and your workouts are crazy. Keep up the great work and hope you have a great on track week


  2. Mrs. Sheila says:

    Your doing wonderful you silly girl.

    When you said you tend to “binge” at your dad’s ~ that is what you gotta figure out why. Is it emotional, or just food freedom? I have a hard time controlling wht I eat around my mom (and it is emotional) so I have been limitng that “access”. πŸ™‚

    Have a great Sunday!
    Ps… I am alone too. (And I am married with three kids LOL)


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